A Trio of Treats

After the last post, I really have to write something fun and frivolous. And so, here's a trio of treats for you...as long as you are 'of the canine persuasion'.



'Up the Apples and Pears'


You will need:

2 cups wholewheat flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 cup brown rice, cooked and cooled
1 cup finely chopped apple
1 cup finely chopped pear
1/2 tsp cinnamon
3/4 cup hot water
2 tbsp peanut butter

1. Pre-heat your oven to 325.

2. In a large bowl, mix together the flour, baking powder, apple, pear, rice and cinnamon.

3. Dissolve the peanut butter in the hot water to make a thick sort of slurry. (OK, it won't actually 'dissolve' as such, but you'll make a thin paste which allows the peanut butter to disperse more easily into the dry ingredients.)

4. Mix the wet into the dry and bring together to form a thick dough. If it's tough going with a wooden spoon, feel free to channel your inner child and get your hands in the bowl and squeeeeeeeze the dough together. Go on, it's very therapeutic!

5. Turn the dough out onto a piece of parchment paper and roll into a large circle.

6. Slide the parchment onto a baking sheet and bake in the oven for 30 minutes.

7. Cut into bite-size pieces and return to the oven for a further 30 minutes. At the end of this second 30 minute stint, turn the oven off leaving the cookies inside to dry out completely.

Once they are cooled, perform a taste-test with your favourite furry companion...s/he'll love you forever!


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'The Top Banana!'

This is a favourite of Darwin (The Beagle) Dog who seems to fancy himself as something of a top banana....


You will need:

2 1/4 cups wholewheat pastry flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup rolled oats
1/4 cup peanuts, chopped
1/4 cup dried banana chips, chopped
1 cup warm water
2 tbsp peanut butter

1. Pre-heat your oven to 325.

2. In a large bowl, mix together the flour, baking powder, rolled oats, chopped peanuts and chopped banana chips, reserving one whole banana chip per dog.

3. Dissolve the peanut butter in the hot water to make a thick sort of slurry. (See above recipe for long-winded caveat/explanation of this process...)

4. Mix the wet into the dry and bring together to form a thick dough.

5. Turn the dough out onto a piece of parchment paper and roll into a large circle.

6. Slide the parchment onto a baking sheet and bake in the oven for 30 minutes.

7. Cut into bite-size pieces using a knife or a pizza wheel. Because it's a chunky sort of recipe, it doesn't really lend itself to cutting out cute dog-bones or hydrant shapes, so just go with the strips or squares...your dog really won't care!

8. Return to the oven for a further 30 minutes. At the end of this second 30 minute stint, turn the oven off leaving the cookies inside to dry out completely.

But what of the reserved banana chip of step #2?? Well, since the cookies will be too warm to eat for a while after they come out of the oven, it might be prudent to have a little something to assuage the anxiety of the eventual recipient....it works for me!


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'The Utterly Nutterly'

In honour of Humphrey The (Wiener)Hound who is, it cannot be denied, somewhat nuts...but in a good way....possibly.....

You will need:

2 cups wholewheat flour
2 tsp baking powder
2/3 cup ground peanuts
1/2 cup rolled oats
1/3 cup sunflower seeds
2 tbsp peanut oil
1 cup warm water
2 tbsp peanut butter

1. Pre-heat your oven to 375.

2. In a large bowl, mix together the flour, baking powder, rolled oats, ground peanuts and sunflower seeds.

3. Dissolve the peanut butter in the hot water to make a thick sort of slurry. Add to this the peanut oil.

4. Mix the wet into the dry and bring together to form a thick dough.

5. Turn the dough out onto a piece of parchment paper and roll into a large circle.

6. Slide the parchment onto a baking sheet and bake in the oven for 25 minutes.

7. Cut into bite-size pieces using a knife or a pizza wheel and return to the oven for a further 15-20 minutes to bake hard.


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Sprinkle the cookies liberally into the life of your favourite canine/s. Accompany each serving with a hug, chin tickle or simple pat on the head. And enjoy....

Stay vegan, friends!

The economy is tough indeed.

I don't remember the random trail of links that brought me to this site a couple of nights ago, as I surfed around idly checking out the vegan news. But I came across an article that shook me to the core. But first, a little background....

In Western Massachusetts, we recently heard the chilling news that the MSPCA is closing 3 of its 7 shelters across the state, one of them being in our area. As quoted in a recent issue of the Pet Gazette "'For the good of the entire organization we need to close down certain facilities," MSPCA spokesperson Brian Adams said recently, pointing to a loss in revenue as the reason for the closures." The economy is tough indeed.

And it seems like the volume of pet surrenders is rising as people face foreclosure or the downsizing of income. As the same article points out, "'Foreclosure’ is now a check box on our surrender sheets, when it had not been there in the past.'" Honestly, I cannot think of a worse thing than to lose your livelihood, your income, perhaps your relationship, your home...and then to lose your pet too. It must be the last straw for some people. It certainly would be for me.

There could be nothing worse. Unless, I suppose, you happened to be the animal in question, the one who is surrendered. The pet sacrificed to the 'economic downturn'. For the animals, it is a lot worse. I imagine that the owners let themselves believe that their animal will be adopted. Of course, s/he is a good dog, a great dog with kids, loyal, funny and loves to give kisses....s/he is bound to find a good home.....

And so off they go, leaving the animal in the 'care' of the shelter.

Which brings us back to the article I mentioned at the start of this post. I found it on Eye on the Sparrow, an all breeds/special needs dog rescue website and its raw honesty was painful to read. It is an open letter from a shelter manager in which she (?) lays out very clearly the situation of the surrendered dog:

Odds are your pet won't get adopted & how stressful do you think being in a shelter is? Well, let me tell you, your pet has 72 hours to find a new family from the moment you drop it off. Sometimes a little longer if the shelter isn't full and your dog manages to stay completely healthy. If it sniffles, it dies.

Your pet will be confined to a small run/kennel in a room with about 25 other barking or crying animals. It will have to relieve itself where it eats and sleeps.

It will be depressed and it will cry constantly for the family that abandoned it.

If your pet is lucky, I will have enough volunteers in that day to take him/her for a walk. If I don't, your pet won't get any attention besides having a bowl of food slid under the kennel door and the waste sprayed out of its pen with a high-powered hose.

If your dog is big, black or any of the " Bully " breeds (pit bull, rottie, mastiff, etc) it was pretty much dead when you walked it through the front door. Those dogs just don't get adopted.

It doesn't matter how 'sweet' or 'well behaved' they are.

If your dog doesn't get adopted within its 72 hours and the shelter is full, it will be destroyed.

The author then describes in clear terms the process that turns a surrendered animal into a

'corpse [that] will be stacked like firewood in a large freezer in the back with all of the other animals that were killed waiting to be picked up like garbage. What happens next? Cremated? Taken to the dump? Rendered into pet food? You'll never know and it probably won't even cross your mind.'

I don't have the heart to reproduce it in its entirety here, but it is something we should all know about.

Here's the link.
Please take a moment to read it.
The animals need us not to look away.
Not to retreat into the comparative comfort of ignorance.

Earlier this week, a coworker announced that a friend had just got a puppy, a gangly darling of a baby who hadn't yet even grown into its own feet. Puppies are magic, aren't they? All nose and feet and astonishment at their own tails. I would love to have a puppy, someone I could actually train to behave well - unlike my two rescue dogs, who do as they wish and have *me* expertly trained in the arts of cookie giving and pillow plumping.

But I will never buy one.

Because for every puppy purchased from a breeder, from a pet store, online, from an acquaintance whose dog 'has just had a litter', another dog in a shelter somewhere will take their final walk to 'The Room' where a 'euthanasia tech' will start the process that ends with the life draining out of yet another pair of 'sad, lost, confused eyes'.

Between nine and eleven million times per year.

All that waste. If that doesn't make you think twice about buying that cute puppy in the store window, I really don't know what will.

Stay vegan, Friends.

Sending postcards....

I have been unable to post recently. And the reason was not a lack of time or inclination. But instead an acute sense of failure. The support offered after my last post was so welcome and I really took to heart what was said. So when it came time - after one week - to check my results I felt I'd let not only myself down but those kind enough to offer encouragement.

The truth was: I lost no weight.

None at all.

I could not believe it. All the stories on the web, in the podcasts, in the book...everywhere...tell of people who lose 10lbs, 15lbs or more in their first ETL week. OK, I was not aiming that high, but *something* would have been nice.

So, I felt stuck. I could not bear to admit this failure, but it was the elephant in the blogroom. Sitting right on my keyboard in fact! I could scarcely post about other topics without first addressing this. And so I was unable to write anything.

Luckily sense prevailed and I took heart from the advice of a wonderful friend who encouraged me to stick with it, rather than throw up my hands and grab a dinnerplate-sized chocolate-chip cookie. (Thank you, Colleen!) It's been 15 days since I started the ETL program and, following my initial disappointment, I'll admit I have not been 100% faithful to Dr Fuhrman. I have enjoyed larger servings of rice - for instance - than are recommended and I even went out for a beer with My Beloved last weekend. But, in general terms, I have stuck with it about 80%.

And so I am wildly happy to report that today I discovered I have lost 4.5lbs. I have eaten copious amounts of leafy greens, fruits and vegetables, cut back on my coffee intake, eliminated 98% of the processed sweet treats I used to bake (look back at previous posts and you'll see them all!) and generally felt satisfied, clean, balanced and rarely hungry.

I do believe this is going to work!


Coincidentally, I had a check up with my doctor last week who scheduled a routine lipid panel. I haven't mentioned 'The V-Word' to her (I sense she will not share my enthusiasm for this lifestyle) and so I was interested to know what my scores would be. I got them today so here goes:

My total cholesterol is below the norm at 171mg/dL (<200 = 'desirable'), triglycerides are at 53mg/dL (<150 is 'normal'), LDL is down 3 points to 117mg/dL (where 100-129 mg/dL is considered 'Near optimal/above optimal') and HDL is at 48 which is moderate. I guess this last stat could be improved and so I foresee more oatmeal in my future!

I am not being self-congratulatory here as I have a loooooong way to go before I restore my health completely. Thirty-plus years of the standard western diet tend to wreak a degree of havoc that's not quickly overcome.

But these results seemed like an excellent opportunity to bear witness - in specific, scientific, medical terms - to the benefits of our vegan diet. Whilst the ETL program is so new to me as to not influence the above results, I do however attribute this overall success to veganism.

Completely and totally.

So I am once again on my way to becoming the strong, energetic, healthy vegan I **so** want to be. This journey is wildly interesting and I feel I am on an adventure. So I'll be more diligent in the future about sending 'postcards' along the way....

:)

Stay vegan, friends!

I'm not a junkitarian, but still....

I am learning a lot by following Dr. Fuhrman's Eat to Live plan. There's tons of nutritional advice of course, but I'm also learning about how my other diet compares. I'm beginning to realise that although I cooked pretty much everything from scratch and am definitely not a junkitarian, I was still eating a remarkable amount of processed foods, without even really noticing.

I see now how much bread I usually eat. How much pasta. The vegan cheese in quesadillas and grilled paninis, white flour in the cakes and cookies I bake and write about here. The Gimme Lean sausages and white bread french toast on weekend mornings. And I am quite shocked. In an earlier post Sara was kind in pointing out that the biggest change has already been made - moving from omni to vegan - and that giving up a few processed foods would be easy in comparison. And for the most part she's right, of course. But I do miss the breads - especially the artisanal loaves we usually get from this tiny little independent place where they bake the bread in a wood-fired beehive oven and fetch the loaves out on long wooden spades - and the few convenience foods I used to enjoy.

And I guess the difference here is motivation. When I turned my back on animal products I did so because I could not bear to be a part of the suffering, to support the unconscionable cruelty that pervades the animal exploitation industries.

It was completely for the animals.

Eliminating processed foods from my diet is for me and - although I am motivated to improve my own health and drop the weight - the compulsion is just not as strong.

The ETL food is great - a huge variety of beautiful, colorful fresh fruit and vegetables, some brown rice and a little bread (1 slice in 5 days) and I am enjoying what I do eat. The broccoli and red pepper soup is a standout - I could have eaten the whole panful! And the stew from last night (Day 4) actually had me going back to the stove just to recheck and make absolutely sure nothing was left.

It's just that I am missing what I do not eat. And I am also feeling a bit lost without the comfort of our routine. Fridays, for instance, My Beloved and I frequently go for a pizza (cheese-free for me) and a movie. That will not happen tonight and I am totally clueless as to how to make a Friday evening special without using food. Everything I think of revolves around going out for a meal or winding down from the week over a pint or two in our local brew-pub.

I wonder how many of you can empathise and what you found would help?

Stay Vegan, Friends!

Happy St. Patrick's Day to You!

And may the luck of the Irish be with you today!

No, I'm not Irish but heck, I'm not letting that stop me from making some chocolate-stout cupcakes with whiskey frosting.

The recipe is from VCTOTW and the frosting is just basic vegan buttercream with a healthy dose of whiskey instead of soymilk......The pix are courtesy of my friend and coworker who was terribly excited at the prospect of stout and whiskey at 08:30 in the morning!



And here's another she took having eaten a cupcake!



And how do they taste? I haven't the foggiest! For the first time, I have abstained from sampling my own creations - even to the point that I recruited My Beloved to taste test the frosting last night for the right level of whiskey-ness (yeah, he has a tough life, I know!).

However, today is Day Two of Week One and breakfast is oatmeal with walnuts and raisins, oranges (2) and an apple. And I am strangely content with that!

Oh, and for today's WTF Moment, I bring you Corned Beef and Cabbage Cupcakes. Yep, these sure were worth taking a life for.....sheesh!

Anyways, Happy St. Pat's Day to all those celebrating and - even amidst the corned cow platters - stay vegan, friends!

Such a chunky little vegan...

For those of you who know me only through Cackleberry, let me confess something: I am a chunky little vegan.

With the emphasis on the first of those adjectives!!!

I take full responsibility for this situation and know that umpteen years of eating omnivorously - and greedily - are bound to have taken a toll that 18 months of veganism cannot wipe away. However, as realistic as I am, I cannot fail to be disappointed in my almost non-existant weight loss. So, last weekend I bought Dr Joel Fuhrman's Eat to Live, a book recommended on the latest podcast of Vegetarian Food for Thought. And read it. Well, part of it anyhow (the weekend was kinda packed with stuff to do....) and I have decided to follow his 6-week eating plan and see what happens.

I guess I'm posting about this because I would love to know if anyone out there has also followed this plan and with what results. I was nervous initially because I have already changed my eating habits radically and I knew My Beloved's patience is not 'unlimited'. However, when we discovered that Dr Fuhrman's plan is not too different from the way we eat now, he brightened considerably. The main difference I see in the good doctor's approach is the unlimited quantities of nutrient-dense foods, especially in the form of fruits and most vegetables. And the things I will be limiting or omitting altogether are refined carbs such as pasta, white bread, white rice and white flour. Oh, and alcohol too. :(

Anyways, given that pasta is not generally considered indispensible to one's diet, I am hopeful that I may see some positive results. And I cannot say that I am to be underfed: today is Day One of Week One and it is lunchtime. I have already enjoyed the following:

Breakfast: strawberries, blood orange and a ruby grapefruit

Lunch: whole wheat pita stuffed with My beloved's own black bean dip, salad greens and sprouts, with a huge salad alongside (spring greens, cucumber, yellow peppers, green peppers, red peppers, red onion, kalamata olives and fresh peas) and an apple.

Dinner tonight is salad (as above) with an entree of steamed swiss chard and zucchini, cooked in a tomato, mushroom and onion sauce. I think blueberries are to follow.

I am very impressed at Dr Furhman's common sense attitude and, although he's not vegan, he really emphasises whole plant-based foods and copious amounts thereof. And unlike any other diet I've ever been on, the food looks good on the plate and I especially love the fact that each part has only one 'listed ingredient' - itself. A grapefruit is a grapefruit, a red pepper a red pepper. Gone are the days of purchasing 'food-like substances' with a list of additives longer than my arm; gone are the 'meal replacements' that never actually replaced so much as a snack in my view.

However, gone too are the cookies, biscuits, cakes, scones, breads, tofutti ice cream etc etc. But it can be only for the best and I am excited. For the first time in ages, I am truly excited to see what this new system will bring.

Let me know if you have a story to share....I'd love some encouragement!

Stay Vegan, Friends!

Don't eat blue cake...

Cakes.

Hmm....

Layer cakes, cheesecakes, bundt cakes, coffee cakes, and - let's not overlook cupcakes! Chocolate, lemon, vanilla, blueberry, coffee, key lime, elaborate with frosting, elegantly simple with a modest dusting of powdered sugar. Yep, I loved them all!

So when I first became vegan I was sure that they'd be forever off my plate. No more. A sweet memory only, filled as they are with chickens' eggs and cows' milk. But then I discovered the myriad vegan cookbooks out there with all of their simple cruelty-free substitutions and I quickly came to cherish a few particular favourites.

And during the last year and a half or so, I think I've become a pretty good baker. Good enough to please my family, friends and coworkers anyhow, so generally I am happy with my progress. But the one thing I have never mastered is formal icing. Piping shells, roses, lettering...that kind of thing.

So when a chance remark to a coworker revealed that one of the big box arts/crafts chains offers Wilton cake decorating classes I took the plunge and signed up for Course I. How hard can it be I thought, to learn smooth frosting, piping dots, leaves, stars and the like? And surely I have an advantage in that I already make cakes all the time and have a few things down pat. One thing did concern me: the stipulation that we use all Wilton supplies - some of which are not vegan - and follow prescribed recipes, which of course include butter. However, I remembered that a great blogger, Vegan_Noodle, also completed this course, so I emailed her for advice. Vegan_Noodle set me straight on substitutions - use the VCTOTW buttercream recipe and omit the meringue powder entirely - and I set off happily to the class.

In Week One I discovered that we are expected to bring a full cake to each class. Each week. It should be ready 'torted' and frosted all over. Man, this is more work than I had expected. The class is on Tuesday evenings so it makes for a pretty long day. Oh well..... In preparation for Week Two I made a basic yellow cake - just two layers because there seemed no point in making something extravagant - and followed the directive to frost it with pale blue buttercream.

Now, just to preserve my self-respect/ego, let us - before we go any further - review some of my past works:



















And just for kicks, here's a couple of arty close-ups:





And what about a slice of Humphrey Hound's carrot and beet birthday cake:



So bearing all of the above in mind what, I ask you, what is this heap o'crap????



I despair.

Stay vegan, friends, and don't eat blue cake! :(

Recipe: The 'Toothsome Tuscan Treat'

The weekend would not be the weekend without a trip out with the boys to run in the woods. And being that one of the boys is a beagle, and therefore ruled by his nose, and the other is a wannabeagle, and therefore ruled by his big brother's nose, it is vitally important to take plenty of irresistable treats, to ensure good recall.

And so, yesterday, we used up all of the remaining pup treats thus:

The SurfDog

The Thinker

The Recall

The Reward

Thanks!

So it was time to devise another canine cookie....so may I now present: the 'Toothsome Tuscan* Treat'

You will need:

2 cups whole wheat pastry flour
2 tsp baking powder
2 tbsp canola oil
1/4 cup nutritional yeast (ooohh, cheesiness!)
1/4 cup sun-dried tomatoes (salty, yummy and weird-looking)
1/2 cup cooked pasta (excellent way to use up leftovers)
3/4 cup water

1. Preheat your oven to 325 and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
2. Boil a kettle and pour approx. 3/4 cup water over the sun-dried tomatoes to rehydrate. This will take about 10 minutes (the rehydrating...not the pouring).
3. In a large bowl, combine the wholewheat pastry flour, baking powder, nutritional yeast and the canola oil.
4. Finely dice the cooked pasta. I used penne which diced into cute little rings, amusing me no end. I am easily amused, it seems. Add amusing pasta shapes to the flour mix.
5. When safe to do so, retrieve the now plump sun-dried tomatoes from the water reserving the soaking liquid and dice finely.
6. Add both the tomato bits and the 3/4 cup soaking liquid to the mix and stir well to combine. You may need to knead it a little to incorporate all of the pasta and tomatoes.
7. Turn out onto the baking sheet and roll the dough until it's about 1/2 inch thick. Bake for 30 minutes, cut into shapes and then bake a further 30 minutes.
8. After this second set of 30 minutes, turn off the oven but leave the cookies inside to get fully crunchy.




Yum!

Stay Vegan, Friends!
*If you're wondering 'Why Tuscan?', the truth is that I'm not sure. The pasta suggests Italian, and I like the alliterative qualities of 'tuscan' and 'toothsome'.....s'all!

New Award: The Drool of Desire!

A couple of posts ago, I promised a new recipe using the mystery ingredient: pears!

And here it is:



Ginger and Cinnamon-Scented Pear and Almond Cookies with Sunflower Seeds.

For these truly yummy treatlets, you will need:

1 cup diced fresh pear
2 cups whole wheat pastry flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp powdered ginger
1 tsp cinnamon
pinch of salt
1/4 cup sunflower seeds
3/4 cup water
2 tbsp almond butter

1. Preheat your oven to 325 degrees.
2. In a large bowl, mix together the flour, salt, cinnamon, baking powder and ginger. Then add in the diced pear and sunflower seeds.
3. In a measuring jug, stir together the almond butter and the water, until the almond butter is thin and runny. You can use warm water for this, to make it a little easier if you like.
4. Add the liquid to the dry ingredients and mix to combine.
5. Turn the dough out onto a baking sheet covered with baking parchment and press down to flatten out with your hands. Then roll it out until it's about one-half inch think.
6. Bake for 25-30 minutes, remove from oven, cut into small pieces or use a cookie cutter to create shapes. Separate out a bit so that all sides of the cookies are able to dry out completely.
9 Return tray to the oven to bake for a further 25-30 minutes. At the end of the cooking time, turn the oven off, but leave the cookies in to dry out and go really crunchy.

A close-up:





Why, I hear you cry...why are they bone shaped???

Ahh....excellent question! Because they are intended for the canines in your life. These particular cookies have gained the official 'Paw of Approval' - from Sir Humphrey Hound - and the 'Drool of Desire' - from Darwin the Beagle.

Praise indeed!!

Try them out on your pups and let me know how it goes!

Oh, and stay vegan, friends!

PS: In the interests of scientific inquiry, I nibbled on one of these myself and have to report that they are really rather good. Not overly sweet - due to the absence of sugar as you will have spotted - but the almond butter and the fresh pear do lend the cookies a slight hint of sweetness which is almost enough!

Life's occasional rewards

Sometimes you get confirmation that you're on the right track in the most unusual ways. Take yesterday, for example.....My Beloved and I were in our favourite brunchtime hang-out in NoHo - The Green Bean (no website, alas) - seated at a small two-top towards the back of the restaurant. Now for folks who don't know The Green Bean, it's a pretty cozy kind of place. Not exactly elbow-to-elbow, but 'friendly', if you catch my drift.

So, I had ordered their roasted pear and pecan salad (hold the goats' cheese that normally comes with it) and had settled back with some coffee and begun to people-watch. It's a really intriguing kind of place in that it attracts a great diversity of customers - college students, locals, 'valley folk' (stereotypically munchy-crunchy, Birkenstocks-in-winter, hand-knitted hats and beaded beards), alternatives of every kind, and strictly professional types peering at their Blackberrys or laptops. The couple seated next to us were older, hardy New England types, bundled up in The North Face, Polartek, and leather outerwear. They drew my attention mainly because they were large folks in a small space and were incredibly clumsy: water glasses were constantly on the verge of overturning, forks dropped effortlessly to the floor, condiments squirted randomly across the table....everything was a disaster, happening right beside us, in slow motion.

Amidst this carnival, our food arrived and I was presented with a gorgeous-looking plate of baby spring greens, candied pecans, a roasted pear, fanned delicately across the plate, the whole thing drizzled finely with a balsamic vinaigrette. There was also a side of fresh, creamy avocado. The colours, textures and the smells were just a picture! As I savoured the image before tucking in, the plates arrived for the 'couple next door' and instantly my stomach just heaved. He had ordered a beef burger and it arrived slathered in cheese, with fat pooling around the bun. It was gross in the extreme.

Then he cut into it.

The smell was just nauseating. It was blood and death and putrifying. That's the only way I can honestly describe it. A slight panic set in as I realised that it was going to be really difficult to eat with that stench emanating from the next table and I did not want to spoil our brunch.

And then the miracle happened.

The dead bovine on a bun was underdone.

So. He. Sent. It. Back.

I looked at My Beloved and he looked at me, and we tucked in to our brunch with abandon.

I wondered how long this reprieve could possibly last. The guy grumbled. He ate from his wife's plate. He muttered, dropped a coffee spoon or two, was given some chips and salsa to 'tide him over', he muttered some more. And still his beef burger did not reappear.

A full 20 minutes later, My Beloved and I had finished. For me, the last candied pecan had disappeared in a tummywards direction; the final morsel of toast and jam had been devoured, for him. We sat back, satisfied, and drained the last dregs of our coffee contentedly.

Then our waitperson reappeared. She was bearing two things - our check and our neighbour's cremated cow.

It was time to leave.

But the wonderous way in which life doles out occasional rewards was not lost on me.

Steer clear of the steer and stay vegan, friends!